Question by Pinda S: im write stories, not profesional but tell me wat u think of first chapter wud u buy if if i publised and y?
The build up 1999
The streets of New York were quiet, nothing was alive and nothing had motion. It was boxing day half seven in the evening most job workers of the big city were sleeping in their homes tired from all the fuss Christmas day had offered them. The mothers were satisfied with the joys which had been blessed on the families in this time of the year. Also the children who thought Santa existed were chuffed with there top of the range clothes and gifts which had been given to them on Christmas morning, however the family men were still recovering from all the debts that they owed to the manipulating bills and presents they could not afford. To make things worse they were also recovering from the hangovers which had been given to them from the brothers in laws and their obsession always to drink vodka on every celebration. It was a time of year they hated and despised however were hiding it to keep the children happy and keep safe from the desperate wifes bellowing down their ears. They were now looking forward to nothing except a financial disaster for the new year on the other hand they were still praying for one thing. That the conference in the morning for the big boxing fight between Lewis Carters and James Husky went well and the fight was to go forward.
By now it was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace waiting for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do this to build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his home town, Brooklyn, to cheer him on when he got there. James Husky was already in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy weight champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has been undefeated since he had the belt- he has had eight fights since he had had won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in manila. Husky was a fairly tall man with a muscular build, he had a very quick reacting mind in the ring, he was a powerful puncher and the unordinary thing about him is that he can fight either orthodox or southpaw stance in the ring. He was given the nickname James the power man Husky after knocking Fredson juniour out in the 2nd round with a lethal uppercut which knocked one of fredsons moulders out of his mouth blood was all over the ring and it was classed to be one of the most memorable fights in history. What made it unordinary was this was when he was in the cruiser weight and the power of the punch was the equivalent of Geroge Foremans awesome hooks.. James always stay focused on the aim of the fight which is to win and that integrity and spirit has won him most of his fights. A characteristic which made him stand outside the ring was that he was very crotchety this was also the case after his fights and in public. Whenever he was victorious over one of his fights he would always end up yelling at a bewildered reporter who he would end up either pushing onto the floor. Even though he was like this, it was what made him entertaining to watch and he is known to have one of the most amazing attitudes to live. In the conference room Husky was wearing an black swage suit with a black striped shit and blue aqua coloured tie, he was sitting in there patiently waiting for the conference to progress.
While James Husky was inside sitting on lined table on the right side of the room sipping his glass of squeezed lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Husky got out of his Brown leather chair and looked outside the window and developed a tormenting smile. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari Maranello, it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist in welter weight and also Benvollio Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular when he was defeated by “James the power man Husky” in 1998. Norton was a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a good looking multi millionaire mainly because of the many privatized companies that he owns. Which could be anything leisure companies, electronics or even a broad way drug racket for a mob living in little Italy but who knows nobody really tried to get on his bad side in public and in the media, due to the several people who have crossed him in their lives have received extra attention from his body guards which isn’t a pretty site.
Ferraris back seat couldn’t be seen through because of the tinted windows. Suddenly the doors opened and Jerry Carters came out of the back seat , Jerry was Lewis’s uncle and trainer. Five years he has been training Lewis to become the ultimate boxing fighter, Lewis used to be trained by his father ,Carl Carters, however he was killed whilst locking up the gym on a week night. He was stabbed retentively in
the back while locking the gyms front doors.
Even though Lewis lost his father at such a important part in his life their dream was to make Lewis become heavyweight champion by the time he reached his Forties. Lewis knew he was undefeated for five fights in a row when his father was killed. It somehow struck him in his mind that whoever killed his father wanted him dead to stop Lewis achieving his potential. He knew it and so did his uncle Jerry and they were determined to become the world most magnificent fighter in the states. Local media stations have been announcing the fight for weeks knowing it will be great, this fight is what Lewis has been waiting for with Forty wins and zero losses. Every time he trained in the gym his father was last seen, every time he goes for jogs he thinks he would never of got were he is if his father didn’t inspire him. So the least he could do I share the dream with his father in the after world to become undisputed heavy weight champion “ Carter the king of aces” he was given this name by his mother when he was only nine years of age because he was acing every completion he went to. The fight will be Huskys hardest challenge and it will be a incredible bout between the two but disputes have been argued saying Carter will knock Husky out in the first round because of his great speed, power and confident personality. Lewis climbed out of the car with a black suit on with a red shirt without a tie. The roaring was incredible all his fans were putting there hands out but he just walked forward not showing just a few respect he believed is you shake one mans hand ,you, should shake every ones. Menacingly he walked through the brown, oak doors and walked through the lounge which had some newspapers photographers. Willingly to take pictures they snapped away but he ignored every flash . Walking into the main conference room. Shockingly he ran up towards Husky and got ready to throw a hook while Husky was sitting off guard. With quick reactions Husky moved out of the way pushing the chair over and causing a load sensational sound of cold leather touching the limestone floor.
“ Man I’m going to kill you in the ring, I’m not going to show no mercy sucker” fire was in Carters eyes when he shouted at Husky.
“got some nerve bringing your mans in here acting all big, you aren’t nothing to me ” Husky looked into Carters eyes and gave the same tormenting smile he did when he saw Carters cars coming.
“ Think you all big man, your two minutes late” Husky was known for his manipulating remarks towards other fighters. The two monsters tried to grab one each other into a glitch and fight each other in a slugger fight but repeatedly they were separated. Constantly they kept taunting each other.
The conference was one of the most disturbing in the whole of the boxing association but it did finish and the fight date was set. Both of them would fight on March 29th, at Maidson Square Garden. Many people were now looking forward to this epic fight, the two fighters were now fighting to keep their pride and determination to carry on their winning streaks.
The big fight
Exactly three long months had no gone by and both fighters had been training hard and keeping their fitness up especially. It was 26th March, with only three days left till the fight. The morning was bright and the newspaper prints were printing in the publication factories getting ready to distribute across New York. The front page had a bold heading written saying “ Carter v Husky, will Husky win like he says”.
“ I cant believe it, look what there all saying” Lewis had a copy of The New York times clutched into both of his hands. He was at home in Brooklyn, sitting in the garden. His house was more of a warehouse, he owned a 3.5 million dollar mansion with over 50.5 acres if land in his back garden. The Carter residence was the biggest in the whole of New York.
“ look at all these people look at what they say, there saying I am going to lose. What nerve do they have saying these things, well ill show them on Saturday night. It will be a fight they will never forget. So Jerry what do you recon?”. Thomas Norton his promoter was standing timidly in front of Lewis.
“Listen kid, you can say anything to the media. Stop saying things please?. You can say it politely or even threaten them guys. They aren’t going to listen these kinds of media attention get millions of views. Meaning more money for the editors. All you gotta do is prove them wrong by winning the title and bang the money they got comes in your favour”. Lewis gave a bovine expression.
“ damn is dosh all you care about well guess what I want more. I want to prove them all wrong with my fists not with my money. For all I care you can keep my money I make on the night just get the media of my back”.
Best answer:
Answer by cadvadvocate
Nice start…rough. You’d be having to hire an editor to make the story line flow better.
By the way…don’t place your writings on a public network if you don’t want someone to steal them from you.
If you want another writer to look at your materials, never hand out the original.
Don’t let others in on your product (story) unless you can trust them.
Publishers want stories that are almost already perfect. The cost to publish is high.
They want referrals and or known author materials. Where some took great risks in the past…they now don’t.
So keep trying.
From your presentation here, you’ll need to hire an editor or ghost writer who knows how to spell and good grammar. Cost is high, risk is high.
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